Just watched last week’s episode.

At first I was all excited. Christina admitted that she wants Owen back. April and Jackson were going to get married and have a baby (even though i hate april, i was happy for jackson.) They were going to save that guy’s life so he could have 30 years with his husband.

Then everything got all fucked up. Owen wants a divorce. April wasn’t pregnant, but then shit all over Jackson and was so excited that they didn’t “have to get married” now. Then the guy with the bad liver was told he had a week to live…and he won’t get that 30 years with his husband that he’ll never have. 

But Meredith is pregnant with a McBaby so…

But OMG. When we finished watching it my mom goes 
“I BET THEY MIXED UP THE BLOOD TESTS AND IT’S APRIL WHOSE REALLY PREGNANT”

Grey’s Anatomy

I used to get so excited on thursdays because Grey’s was on. But right now, I honestly don’t even have any urge to watch it. I don’t even really feel like watching it tonight. I always wondered how people could just stop watching the show when George died, or Izzie left, or whatever. But now I get it. My OTP is non-existent. Two of my favorite characters died. What’s the point? It’s not going to make me feel any better to watch it and see the aftermath of their deaths. Why put myself through it?
Despite all this, im probably gonna watch it anyways. Stupid me.

How will Mark’s character depart Grey’s??

I was really hoping that the season 8 finale was the saddest thing I’ll ever have to endure watching on Grey’s. But as we all know, Shonda is going to make another heart-wrenching death to put us all in misery, AGAIN. But, maybe this time the character will actually have a departure that gives some sort of closure to their storyline…unlike Lexi’s. Yeah..who am I kidding. She probably won’t even give Mark a death scene. He will have died sometime between the finale and season 9. I’m finally starting to accept the fact that Lexi died, and now Mark is probably already going to be dead when we see the first episode in September. Ugh. But anyways…thoughts?

Holy fucking shit

I have to watch another finale…?!

The Glee finale better not be as awful as the Grey’s Anatomy finale, or I just might have to go ape shit.

I really don’t want to talk about what happened on Grey’s Anatomy, otherwise i’ll end up ugly sobbing. But to put it simply, my whole OTP’s future died. It’s not going to happen.

I’ve been hearing rumors that Will and Emma aren’t getting married, and that they will break up some time in season 4. I guess i’ll just have to cross that bridge when i get to it…

But i swear to almighty god, if i have to deal with the ultimate destruction to my other OTP (Wemma) this week, after just losing Slexie last week, i might actually fall off the face of the Earth. 

(SOURCE:liaar)

So this is my first day of school since the finale, since i skipped Friday.

When i was trying to figure out what i wanted to wear, first i picked up a button down shirt and jeans.

Then i remembered that Lexie died and Mark is probably gonna die, and i was just like

(source:gifsanatomy)

And i grabbed the biggest sweatshirt i own, and i don’t even care that it’s probably going to be 80 something degrees out today.

This is NOT okay.

I am still not over the death of a fictional character.

This is not okay.

(source:cassidyss)

Mind you, it was probably the saddest death ever shown on television…and the most tragic end to a love story ever. Yeah, i’m talking like Jack and Rose, Romeo and Juliet shit right here…except mark and lexie never really got their chance to be happy.

(source:greyshepherd)

Nevertheless, i am still pathetic.

I should not be crying over this right now instead of doing school work all weekend, or sleeping at all.

(source:goodbyelexiegrey)

What the fuck kind of sick joke is this Shonda?!

Episode 6x23

Cristina: So does that mean if you and Derek get in a plane crash and die the kid’s mine?

Episode 8x24

Derek and Meredith get in a plane crash.

What the fuck?!

This is what i do when i’m down…

I have a huge motherfucking ice cream, and i’m going to lay in my bed and watch the shooting episodes at the end of season 6.

And cry when i see mark and lexie together.

And then cry some more when Derek gets shot.

(source:goodbyelexiegrey)

Oh, i am so pathetic.

I just can’t…

Right now, i have about ten assignments that are going to count for a vast majority of my grades that i haven’t finished yet. I have a research paper due Friday that i haven’t started. I have two biology projects. I have a history essay. I have to study for 8 finals, and a biology MCAS (state testing). But right now, i just can’t do it.

 I’ve spent my entire day on tumblr, torturing myself by looking at pictures and videos and fan fictions of Mark and Lexie. I usually am able to force myself to finish my work before it’s due. But this time, i really don’t know if i can do it…and it’s all Shonda Rhimes’ fault.  Fictional characters shouldn’t get me this upset…My grade point average is a fucking 103.8. I am a perfectionist. This should not be happening to me. My stress level is usually at a constant awful high, but this is going to make me go insane.

I mean, COME ON. You don’t string everyone along into thinking they are going to have the best happy ending, and that everything bad that is happening will be worth it once they are together, and then kill one of them, and potentially kill the other one in the season 9 premiere.

So, i think i’m just going to get the stuff done that’s due tomorrow…go outside and sit in the setting sunwith headphones on, and fuck the rest of it.

I just need a hug.

OH. MY. GOD.

*Ugly sobbing*

Is this a fucking joke?

So, apparently Shonda Rhimes isn’t fucking done ruining our lives. She said in an interview for people not to expect that everyone lives (after lexie’s death). She said that people have been upset over lexie’s death, and forgetting one huge important thing: They’re still stuck in the woods. She’s honestly planning to kill more people in the season 9 premiere.

This killed me:

(source:prodigal-rhapsody)

I’m not sure i can go through something like this again. If it starts to get closer to season 9, and she comes out and says more people are going to die..i really might not watch the show anymore. I never thought i’d say it, but i can’t do it.

It won’t be easy, but it’ll be a hell of a lot easier than going through this again.

Pretty sure i’m going through stage 1.

Dr. Meredith Grey: According to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, when we are dying or have suffered a catastrophic loss, we all move through five distinct stages of grief. We go into denial, because the loss is so unthinkable, we can’t imagine it’s true. We become angry with everyone - angry with survivors, angry with ourselves. Then we bargain. We offer everything we have. We offer up our souls in exchange for just one more day. When the bargaining has failed and the anger is too hard to maintain, we fall into depression, despair, until finally we have to accept that we have done everything we can. We let go. We let go and move into acceptance.
In medical school, we have a hundred classes that teach us how to fight off death and not one lesson in how to go on living.

I’m not even going to school today guys…

I got up this morning, looked at the clock, and realized i only got 2 hours of sleep.

Then, i remembered that Lexie died yesterday, after Mark explained how she couldn’t die because they were going to live happily ever after, get married, and have kids.

Let’s just say i need a mental health day.

(Sources: gifsanatomy, always100coffees)

Never thought I’d say this….

I think I ship Mark and Lexie even more than I ship Derek and Meredith right now. Yeah, Derek and Meredith are meant to be and are perfect for each other, and Derek will always be my favorite character. But so are Mark and Lexie. The worst part, is that they never really got to be together that long. As soon as they finally both admitted they loved each other and realized they were meant to be, she died. The entire time Lexie was making that speech about how much she loved mark, it made me think of how much I love my person; even though he didn’t love me. Honestly, I bate shonda rhimes. Shes been leading us to believe they would be together, then she goes and kills Lexie. What IS that?!